The two principles that we are going to cover today are indeed a delicate balance in the ministry. Buckle-up, let's ride.
21. Starting a church with mostly family will serve to be a fatal mistake.
Now this may sound like a very strange principle, but hang with me a few moments as we un-package this idea. If you have several family members in the same geographic area in which you plan on planting, then it's normally a given that they are going to launch with you. This can be a blessing in many ways but can turn into a grave mistake in the future. Your family will ALWAYS view you differently from the rest of the congregation. If you're not careful they will not only have an un-restricted access that no one else has, they will also set unrealistic expectations on your time. Now, I personally have the joy of pastoring both my Mom and my Dad. The wild part is that they have been divorced since I was 4 but they are the best of friends and are both very faithful in our church. However, when problems have risen within the church you have to constantly fight the temptation for your family to naturally want to stand up for you. Thats a difficult balance indeed. To many people it will seem as though "blood is thicker than water" and offense will be taken. I'm not telling you to avoid your family or deny them access to the church services. I'm saying that you should not build your core group or your leadership model based on them. Your family will naturally be more critical of what you do and decisions that you make and they will not see any problem voicing those opinions. It will also serve as a a horrible Thanksgiving gathering when you have to see family that have recently gotten ticked off and left your church.
22. If you're committed to reaching unchurched people, prepare for churched people to misunderstand you.
I cannot stress this point enough. I'm telling you right now you need to make up your mind who you want to reach. You can reach out to people in other churches and in a short amount of time you will develop a church of disgruntled people that view your church solely through the misgivings of the one they left. This type of church always falls into maintenance mode. I mean by that it merely maintains what it already has but rarely sees growth. You can also set your sails in the direction of reaching the unchurched. This has been the goal of Global Vision and trust me when I tell you it has cost us greatly. People that aren't used to an "outreach" church don't understand why you say or do certain things. Traditionalized people expect you to use "Christianeze" phrases and do what the church has always done. Are you ready for this: LET THEM GO. Trust me, they are leaving anyhow. Jesus came to "seek and to save that which was lost." He even stated that "they that are whole need not a physician." It's a great marriage when you can get previously churched folks to understand the vision of reaching the lost and then amalgamate them both together. But in order to do so you have to make it an active part of your core values and you must teach on the idea many many times throughout the year. Even with all that you are going to have people not understand or even refuse to understand why you have to rock the boat so much in reaching the unchurched of your community. People will try to to tell you that reaching the lost is not what a New Testament church really is. Others will scream "compromiser." On and on it goes. Just put your feet to the ground and move forward with your calling. I remind our people at least once a month that "Global Vision exists for the folks who aren't here yet." Don't let people sit around with a consumer mindset. Train people to serve and quit letting them get spoiled by being served. Face it: Your church is either growing or simply maintaining who's already there. There's no two ways about it. Prepare for other preachers to hate you and for your own people to misunderstand you. By the way, the biggest insult and slap in the face will come when you've reached an unchurched person, then deeply discipled and trained them and then they get around some sour churched people and they come to you saying "We bring in too many sick people." WOW! Just kick me in the face next time. I refuse to just babysit who we already have. Let's raise up an army of people that are consumed with reaching the lost, hurting, addicted and marginalized. William Booth said it best. "Others Lord Yes others, may this my motto be. Others Lord Yes others, that I might be like Thee."
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